{"id":9199,"date":"2023-12-28T09:41:26","date_gmt":"2023-12-28T08:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grupaspotkanie.pl\/?p=9199"},"modified":"2026-03-20T08:21:58","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T07:21:58","slug":"how-to-communicate-effectively","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grupaspotkanie.pl\/en\/blog\/jak-skutecznie-sie-komunikowac\/","title":{"rendered":"How to communicate effectively? Learn the principles of effective communication according to the S.P.P.UST tool"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wydawa\u0107 by si\u0119 mog\u0142o, \u017ce takie s\u0142owa nie mog\u0105 wywo\u0142a\u0107 poczucie, \u017ce jeste\u015bmy na dobrej \u015bcie\u017cce. Jednak kiedy kilka dni temu us\u0142ysza\u0142am je od Tomka z kluczowego dzia\u0142u naszej firmy, wiedzia\u0142am, \u017ce idziemy w prawid\u0142owym kierunku. Dlaczego “we\u017a co\u015b z nim zr\u00f3b” mo\u017ce brzmie\u0107 w uszach do\u015bwiadczonego HRowca ca\u0142kiem dobrze?<\/strong> How to communicate effectively when interlocutors avoid contact?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Czego ode mnie potrzebujesz w tej sytuacji?<\/strong>
<\/strong>– We\u017a co\u015b z nim zr\u00f3b!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good communication is the key to success<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It was a Wednesday afternoon, the office was beginning to slowly transition into a state of work slowdown, only to become a space occupied for several hours by the numerous potted plants that populate its various spaces. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could feel the fatigue of the last intensive week at work and I could see it in the eyes of Tom, the deputy sales manager. He had been shyly and non-verbally hinting at communication problems with his manager for some time, but so far had chosen not to talk. Today he came in, sighed deeply and sat despondently in my office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 – Nie za bardzo wiem, jak to przedstawi\u0107, bo nie chc\u0119 si\u0119 skar\u017cy\u0107  \u0336  zacz\u0105\u0142 niepewnie, ale widz\u0105c moj\u0105 otwart\u0105 postaw\u0119 i s\u0142ysz\u0105c komunikat, \u017ce jestem tu teraz dla niego, wyrzuci\u0142 z siebie  \u0336  Marcin mnie wyko\u0144czy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Komunikacja oparta na empatii – Czy to wa\u017cne?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Marcin, the manager of his department, was regarded as an effective, if not very empathetic, colleague. The team tended to like him because he was fair, but Tom and he couldn't get along from the start. A recent communication workshop had improved their relationship somewhat, but after the deputy returned from leave, the situation escalated and Tom switched it around, making no secret of his agitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 – Zr\u00f3b to, zr\u00f3b tamto\u2026 Czuj\u0119, \u017ce przerzuca na mnie swoje obowi\u0105zki, a kiedy zwracam mu na to uwag\u0119, twierdzi, \u017ce jeste\u015bmy zespo\u0142em i \u017cebym nie by\u0142 aptekarzem, kt\u00f3ry odmierza co do mililitra. Moje samodzielne dzia\u0142ania s\u0105 bojkotowane, a je\u015bli zrobi\u0119 co\u015b dobrze, praktycznie nigdy nie s\u0142ysz\u0119 s\u0142\u00f3w aprobaty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"how<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where to look for the causes of ineffective communication?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I left space for Tom to make his case, being an active listener who empathically encouraged him to show his point of view. Being in a posture of softly to the relationship, I mirrored, paraphrased and saw the man speak more and more fully about what needs are not being met in this professional relationship and where he feels his boundaries are being violated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also started to analyse the ten main needs that, in a collaborative team situation, should be taken care of in order for this teamwork to be a source of satisfaction at every level. I noted that Tom did not feel valued, was restricted in his need to create, and that feedback towards his work was limited to criticism only. So there was a lot of this, and I wanted to find the one that was going to become the key to solving the issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen actively<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

An analysis of the aforementioned ten needs that, when met, enable good cooperation is an indicator of potential problems and, as an HR professional, I need to keep these in front of my eyes when people come to me and talk about their problems. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, on the course they were written in an interesting graphic form and well discussed, and so I found it easy to pick up on this tool when talking to Tom. I felt that this was the moment to move on to the second step of the method from complaint to action, which is the Request. So I asked:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 – Czego ode mnie potrzebujesz w tej sytuacji?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then the quote at the beginning of my story was made:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 – We\u017a co\u015b z nim zr\u00f3b!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feedback – Jak efektywnie przekazywa\u0107 informacje?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Why was I happy to hear these words? Because it was already a kind of presentation of the request - a request for help in identifying a need. It is worth bearing in mind that formulating a request at this stage is not easy for every employee, so we are there to help them identify it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nie ukrywam, \u017ce kusi\u0142o mnie, by na tym etapie faktycznie \u201eco\u015b z Marcinem zrobi\u0107\u201d i wiedzia\u0142am z do\u015bwiadczenia naszej wsp\u00f3\u0142pracy, \u017ce moja rozmowa z nim przy lunchu mog\u0142aby spraw\u0119 za\u0142atwi\u0107. Jednak zatrzyma\u0142am si\u0119, pami\u0119taj\u0105c o zagro\u017ceniu wej\u015bcia w rol\u0119 Ratownika i zaproponowa\u0142am Tomkowi herbat\u0119. Wiedzia\u0142am, \u017ce nasza rozmowa b\u0119dzie jeszcze trwa\u0142a i chcia\u0142am zrobi\u0107 ma\u0142\u0105 pauz\u0119 – potrzebowa\u0142 jej szukaj\u0105cy rozwi\u0105zania pracownik, jak i ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communication skills must be on both sides<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

HR professionals generally feel good about supporting and want to be present and helpful in solving the problems people come to them with. The danger, however, is that we start acting for someone rather than with them. We go from being a companion to becoming a Rescuer, and after a while we wonder why we didn't know how to say no, why we let ourselves be dragged into something that was not our responsibility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may also be in the situation where, when you hear a request for help, you feel like coming to the rescue straight away. However, it is far better to be there for the person who has a problem and help them to solve it themselves. We develop these skills in practice during communication workshops<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"how<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to communicate effectively? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Rol\u0119 Ofiary, Prze\u015bladowcy czy w\u0142a\u015bnie Ratownika –  mo\u017cemy odgrywa\u0107 w grach psychologicznych. To u\u015bwiadamia nam, \u017ce \u017cadna z nich nie jest lepsza czy gorsza, bo niestety w tej grze nie ma wygranych. Maj\u0105c t\u0119 wiedz\u0119, zrobi\u0142am stop-klatk\u0119 i nie posz\u0142am za wezwaniem Tomka, kt\u00f3ry chcia\u0142, bym wesz\u0142a w gr\u0119. Umo\u017cliwi\u0142am nam obojgu, pozostanie w pozycji Doros\u0142ych i na tym poziomie prowadzenie dalszej rozmowy, ju\u017c na etapie mojej Propozycji.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From over a mug of fragrant jasmine green tea, I presented my Proposal, already being in a different position - definitely to the cause:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– S\u0142ysz\u0119, \u017ce nie jeste\u015b pewien, czego potrzebujesz w zwi\u0105zku z poczuciem niedocenienia, przerzucania na Ciebie obowi\u0105zk\u00f3w i pozbawiania Ci\u0119 samodzielno\u015bci. Proponuj\u0119, \u017ce na pocz\u0105tek pomog\u0119 Ci to okre\u015bli\u0107.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tom smiled for the first time that afternoon and after another twenty minutes we had a Request ready, to which I made an adequate Proposal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the Determination, in which we managed to get agreement on the contract from all states of the Self: Parent, Child and Adult, I felt that the theoretical knowledge I had began to bear fruit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On my way out of the office, I saw that the tangerine tree standing in the corner by the reception desk had borne fruit and I thought this was a beautiful metaphor for our process. And in fact, thanks to what we had worked out, the following week there was a meeting with Marcin, for which Tomek was brilliantly prepared, and they both found a solution to a situation that was threatening to break down cooperation in the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A method worth following<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By\u0142am bardzo zadowolona, \u017ce model S.P.P.UST. \u2013 od skargi do kontraktu, kt\u00f3ry pozna\u0142am na kursie video, pozwoli\u0142 mi w tak adekwatny spos\u00f3b odpowiedzie\u0107 na spraw\u0119, z kt\u00f3r\u0105 zg\u0142osi\u0142 si\u0119 do mnie Tomek. Metoda ta, opracowana na potrzeby biznesowe na podstawie terapeutycznej koncepcji w\u0142oskiego terapeuty – analityka transakcyjnego Carlo Moiso – pozwala pomaga\u0107 ludziom tak, by zacz\u0119li za\u0142atwia\u0107 swoje w\u0142asne sprawy i bra\u0107 za nie odpowiedzialno\u015b\u0107. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Starting from listening to the Complaint, also known as the Case, through the Request and the Proposal, we arrive at the Determination, which is no rotten compromise, but an actual clear and transparent agreement on a very specific way of doing things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Such overt and mutual agreement on a clearly agreed course of action, however, can only be the result of a pre-existing process, which I was able to successfully apply to the intervention in Tom's case. Do not assume that the contract will do itself, but build on the four concrete steps by which the energy of the Complaint can be harnessed to develop a Determination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Werbalna i niewerbalna komunikacja – Lider, HR-owiec, pracownik musz\u0105 o tym wiedzie\u0107<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ka\u017cdy kontrakt zwierany jest na co najmniej trzech poziomach, mo\u017cemy w literaturze odnale\u017a\u0107 tak\u017ce modele m\u00f3wi\u0105ce o pi\u0119ciu. Podstawowe trzy poziomy wyodr\u0119bnione przez Erica Berne’a, tw\u00f3rc\u0119 AT, mo\u017cemy w du\u017cym uproszczeniu okre\u015bli\u0107 jako odpowiedzi na pytania co, kto, kiedy, po co i jak i odnale\u017a\u0107 w nim tak\u017ce niejawn\u0105 cz\u0119\u015b\u0107 ujmuj\u0105c\u0105 nasze nadzieje i obawy. Rozpatruj\u0105c wi\u0119c kontrakt od strony administracyjnej, okre\u015blamy jego cel i plan, na poziomie profesjonalnym rozpatrujemy misj\u0119 i sposoby jej realizacji oraz warunki wsp\u00f3\u0142pracy, natomiast kontrakt psychologiczny donosi si\u0119 do uwzgl\u0119dnienia nie\u015bwiadomych lub niewyra\u017conych motywacji, potrzeb, oczekiwa\u0144, frustracji, obaw i starych zranie\u0144 czy niewyja\u015bnionych sytuacji ka\u017cdej ze stron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two additional levels, introduced by Julie Hay - political and perceptual - relate to the perceptions of the intervention by the participants and parties involved, and the impact of the context. During the implementation of the next steps of the S.P.P.UST. model, I kept all these levels in mind, and we spent more time analysing the psychological level. Among other things, I helped Tom to identify his attitudes towards working with Martin and his idea of what it would look like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to facilitate teamwork?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You're wondering how to nurture the emotional wellbeing of employees, build strong bonds based on trust and collaboration, where the employee feels noticed and important as they are, and the organisation gains their commitment and loyalty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then this webinar is for you:<\/strong> https:\/\/grupaspotkanie.pl\/produkt\/blizej-potrzeb-managerow\/<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jak si\u0119 komunikowa\u0107 – Podsumowanie<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It has been a long time since the contracting training, but I am still impressed by the effectiveness of the tool presented there. I can also see how many benefits its application has brought to our organisation and I definitely feel better for not moving to the rescue but stopping to implement the next steps of the model. It has worked as the name suggests, as a trigger for good change and process improvement not only in my department but across the company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gestures, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact with the recipient and active listening. These are important elements in communication. However, if you want to understand the interlocutor, try to do more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to introduce such solutions in your organisation, be sure to take a look at the video course offer \"From complaint to action<\/a>\", which will equip you with the knowledge and a concrete step-by-step tool to introduce into your organisation to act with, not for, someone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would you like to book a course? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use the discount code: rebate25%<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Literature:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n