According to Berne's Transactional Analysis, we have a total of six states of Self: Adult, Caring Parent and Normative, and three states of Child: Free, Subordinate and Rebellious. The question is: Can they be misused?
What are I-states?
The states of the Self are the visible manifestation of our personality. We can see them through the thoughts, behaviour and feelings that are characteristic of each of them.
When people talk and cooperate with each other, they are free to use them, so that they are able to respond more or less adequately to what the other party is doing, saying (or not).
Dr Taibi Kahler, creator of the Process Comunication Model tool, was the first to point out that we can use each state of Self constructively or not. Poorly used states of Self by a manager can lead to various problems in team management and workplace relationships.
Dr Susan Tample, who has researched the effective and ineffective use of Self states, inadequate beneficial use of them called entering purple modes. She distinguished them in this way from the so-called złotal modes in which we act, cooperate, when we choose good states of Self for a given conversation, task.
How to use the IAM states sensibly?
If the state of the Normative Parent is exploited too much, e.g. speaking in too strong a tone, inventing more procedures to check the work of salespeople, increasing the number of reports and meetings. Such excessive control over the actions of subordinates can result in a lack of autonomy and frustration within the team. Another aspect associated with too much of the Normative Parent state can be hurtful criticism instead of constructive feedback, resulting in a decrease in motivation and self-confidence of the człons of the team, as well as resentment towards the manager. This way of using the Normative Parent is called the Dominance Mode, which is perceived as blaming, bossy and making excuses.
Can IAM states be used badly?
Although it seems strange to some people, we can also misuse the Caring Parent. This is when we are overly concerned about others, not allowing them to make mistakes. Such a manager, fearing not to offend someone, will not enforce obligations on employees and will bail them out, leading to the disappearance of initiative, independence and a sense of responsibility among employees. This way of using the Caring Parent is called the marshmallow mode, i.e. being permissive, overly tolerant, self-sacrificing. In a team, this produces deplorable results. The whole team should be thinking, looking for solutions, examining the best options. With a manager who uses the Caring Parent too much, these behaviours gradually die out in employees. Why try and think when such a boss will take care of everything and fix everything?
What are the risks of złe use of IAM states by the manager?
A manager who uses his or her Rebellious Child badly either fails to defend his or her team or conflicts with other departments, sometimes making 1TP1Violent gestures or releasing biting comments. This way of using the Rebellious Child is called resistance mode. It is not difficult to imagine that this way of behaviour by the manager will also cause demotivation and, in time, people will leave.
What, however, if the manager is too often in a state of Child Free? What problems might we then face? Such a manager, although empathetic and direct, may display a lack of responsibility, taking too lightly to issues and topics that require his or her attention and difficult decisions. In addition, the emotionality with which he or she comes into contact may be excessive and lead to impulsive reactions, which not only lowers the perception of him or her as a professional, but also reduces trust. Inadequate use of the Free Child is, according to Susan Tample, called the immaturity mode, which can be perceived as self-centred, reckless, selfish.
And can you misuse your Adapted Child? Of course. It is the manager who over-agrees to everything, every employee that comes to him, who is able to get him to change decisions to suit his priorities. When absurd directives come from above, such a manager will passively accept them and carry them out in the feeling that there is nothing else he can do.
This behavioural mode of the misused state of the Adapted Child Self is called the compliance mode, perceived as a kind of inhibition, submission or appeasement.
The state of I - Adult - How not to abuse it?
Can a manager also abuse the Adult Condition? Certainly, when logical thinking and sticking to facts obscures the context and understanding of the employee's intentions. He has made a mistake, but because he wanted to prevent something. Rigidly sticking to facts as the only guide to decision-making will lead to inflexibility, which will overlook the emotional and social aspect in a team or customer relationship. A focus on analysis and the here and now can also limit creativity and following through on innovative ideas from the team. Moreover, such a manager may be perceived as lacking empathy.
The 6 states of IAM - Summary
When a manager shows insufficient use of each of their six states of Self responsible for our behaviour: Normative and Caring Parent, Free Adult and Child, Rebellious and Subordinate, this can also lead to various problems in team management and communication in many aspects.
Too little of the Child can manifest as low empathy or lack of creativity, leading to stagnation and a sense of misunderstanding within the team, but also not opposing when the situation calls for it. Insufficient use of the Adult state can result in decisions that are not based on facts and analysis, impulsively or on unclear grounds.Too little of any Parent is a lack of protection either through lack of rules, plan and order or through lack of empathy and rapport.
It is essential that the manager is aware of his or her preference and inclination to use certain states of Self and understands the consequences of doing so. Flexibility, responsiveness appropriate to the situation and functional fluency in the use of states of Self are the qualities that characterise the best managers. They are able to provide a balance between Child, Adult and Parent, consciously using each of the states of Self in appropriate amounts and choosing to be in each of them appropriately to the situations that the state requires.
Want to learn more about using IAM states in a manager's work?
Take a look at the two articles below:
3 states of IAM in the work of a manager
Transactional analysis in business
Source:
- Berne E. (1987). What people play. The psychology of interpersonal relations, Warsaw: PWN.Dejean, H., Frugier, C. (2022).
- 50 exercises in transactional analysis. Poznan: Meeting Group Publishing.
- Training materials from the School of Transactional Analysis Group Meeting project.
- Training materials Practice Group Transactional Analysis Meeting.
- Stewart I., Joines V., Transactional Analysis Today. A new introduction, transl. K. Balcerkiewicz et al, Dom Wydawniczy Rebis, Poznań 2018.
- Temple, S. (1999). Functional fluency for educational transactional analysts. Transactional Analysis Journal. 29,164-174.
- Temple, S. (2004) Update on the Functional Fluency Model in Education. TAJ, Vol. 34, No. 3
