Hands up who has not been criticised at least once. Unfortunately, situations like this happen to us throughout our lives. From childhood to old age. Some people criticise us out of sheer jealousy or superiority, but some people who criticise do so in good faith. How do we distinguish between destructive and constructive criticism? How do you deal with criticism? We answer these questions in the article below.
How to deal with criticism?
- Keep calm - The first step is to remain calm and composed. Don't get carried away by emotions such as złness or frustration. Take a deep breath and focus on what the other person is saying.
- Actively listen - Carefully listen to the whole speech of the critic. Do not interrupt or explain yourself before the end. Make sure you understand what the other person means. Ask questions if something is unclear.
- Separate facts from opinions - Criticism can contain both facts and opinions. It is important to be able to distinguish between the two. Facts are objective statements, while opinions are subjective assessments or interpretations. Focus on facts and consider whether they are true. You can treat opinions as valuable feedback on how the other person perceives your behaviour.
- Assess the accuracy of the criticism - Think about whether the criticism is justified. Is it about your behaviour or perhaps about your character traits? Does the person criticising you have enough information to be able to judge your performance objectively?
- Accept constructive criticism - If the criticism is justified and constructive, try to accept it. Acknowledge that you made a mistake or that your behaviour could have been better. Take responsibility for your actions and show a willingness to improve.
- Defend yourself against unfair criticism - if the criticism is unfair or based on false facts, you have the right to disagree with it. Calmly and assertively explain your position. Give arguments and examples that support your point.
- Ask for details - If the criticism is vague or general, ask for clarification. Ask questions to find out more about what the other person means. The more you know, the easier it will be to address the criticism.
- Express your feelings - You have the right to feel emotions in relation to criticism. You can express them in a calm and assertive way. For example, you can say, "I feel hurt by your words" or "It saddens me that you feel this way".
- Thank you for your feedback - even if you do not agree with all the accusations, you can thank the other person for the feedback. This will show that you are open to constructive criticism and want to improve.
- Take care of yourself - After talking to a critical person, take care of yourself. Find time to relax and de-stress. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and criticism is not always a reflection of your worth as a person.
Is every criticism zła?
Of course, not all criticism is zła. Constructive criticism can be helpful and point out areas where we can improve. However, destructive criticism that is inappropriate or hurtful can be detrimental to our wellbeing and development.
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How do we most often respond to criticism directed in our direction?
Someone pointed out to you in such a way that you were stunned? Do you find it difficult to recover from it? When we are criticised, we very often don't know how to behave. This is because such situations are uncomfortable and stressful. Here are some typical and not necessarily good behaviour in response to criticism:
- confusion, embarrassment
- defensive (defensive mindset)
- fooling around
- ignoring and suffering within
- internalizing złness and tormenting oneself with it
- revenge with złness and guilt
- shutting down
- withdrawal
- escape
What is destructive criticism?
Destructive criticism is that which is inappropriate, offensive or hurtful. It can be unconstructive and untrue, and is often intended to hurt or humiliate the person concerned.
How to deal with it?
To deal with destructive criticism, it is useful to keep calm and distance ourselves emotionally. We can try to respond assertively, ignore it or ask for further clarification. To avoid escalating the conflict, don't interrupt, argue, deny or start your own list of complaints. It is also important to separate the criticism itself from the tone in which it is expressed.
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What is constructive criticism?
Constructive criticism is criticism that is helpful and designed to support development and improve our performance. It is fair, relevant and given in a way that does not hurt or demean.
How to deal with it?
To deal effectively with constructive criticism, it is useful to listen to it openly and understand the suggestions given to us. We can express acceptance without negativity and thank them for the feedback we receive. It is worth admitting the mistake imposed by the interlocutor and learning from it. Fix what is wrong, work over yourself so that you don't make the same mistakes again, but move on.
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How to respond to criticism?
Responding to criticism can take many forms, from passive acceptance to aggressive defence. However, the best approach is to respond assertively, understanding the difference between constructive and destructive feedback and responding appropriately to the situation.
Don't run away from criticism. It is a trait of mature, confident people to accept that they may be criticised. Rather, they listen with curiosity to information about how others see their work, but this does not mean that they always agree with these opinions.
Passive response to criticism
Do you like to bury your head in the sand? A passive response to criticism involves running away, agreeing with it without reflection or downplaying one's feelings. Passively accepting criticism can lead to lowered self-esteem, lowered self-worth and depression.
Aggressive response to criticism
Are you immediately up against it? An aggressive response to criticism involves attacking the critic and defending oneself in an aggressive manner. This is nothing more than an escalation of the problem, which can lead to conflict and a deterioration of the relationship with the other person.
Assertive response to criticism
Do you know your worth? Responding assertively to criticism involves calmly accepting feedback, understanding its content and responding assertively with the aim of maintaining balance and respect for both self and others.
What when someone criticises your work? - Training from the Meeting Group
When dealing with criticism about work, it is useful to be open to the opinions of others to understand their point of view and to follow up on constructive suggestions. Team collaboration and the ability to accept feedback are key to development and effectiveness.
In our training centre you will find a number of useful webinars and workshops which, on the one hand, will help you to handle criticism of yourself better and, on the other hand, will also make you approach your subordinates with more empathy.
Want to find out how we can help you? Give us a call or write to us!
Summary
Dealing with criticism requires the ability to find the difference between constructive and destructive feedback and to respond assertively. Constructive criticism can be helpful for development, while destructive criticism will lead to the development of negative emotions and lowered self-esteem. It is important to maintain emotional balance and respect towards oneself and others during any such situation.
