When we ask ourselves: why do we work? Almost immediately, concrete answers come to mind. However, if we were to ask ourselves: why do we rest? The answer is often a problem. And this is exactly the topic we are going to address. Read the whole thing and find out how to rest to actually regenerate your body and mind.
What you will learn:
- What are the types of fatigue and what are their sources?
- Why are we not resting?
- How do you learn to relax?
- How to relax after work?
Two types of fatigue - different and similar as dizygotic twins
For many of us, the need for rest, although even biologically determined, is not as obvious and important as work. In fact, we only start to think about resting when we feel tired or even exhausted.
For centuries, we have mainly associated fatigue with physical exertion, i.e. working our muscles and losing energy. A break, a nap or a good night's sleep and food allowed us to return to full strength. The fatigue of our time is very different from that experienced by our ancestors. In fact, we very often experience mental fatigue: an excess of stimuli, information, haste, multitasking. More, faster, harder. This is where sleep does not act as a cure. Often mental fatigue causes us to have trouble falling asleep, sleep is restless, the night brings no respite. We wake up even more irritable and shattered.
Physical fatigue causes us to stop being physically active. Mental fatigue, on the other hand, instead of extinguishing our activity, very often intensifies it. We experience feelings of guilt that we are "not productive enough" and persist in wanting to finish a task that we should put off.
Another difference between physical and mental fatigue is the way it is felt. The former is only felt after a certain amount of work has been done, whereas with mental fatigue, we are already overwhelmed with fatigue and resentment at the very thought of what we have to do. This can be the first signal to us that we are doing something against ourselves, something we don't agree with or don't like.
What causes physical fatigue?
There can be a myriad of reasons. But most often physical fatigue results:
- from too many hours spent working vs. on sleep, movement and recovery;
- from too little physical strength/condition for the job;
- ze złhis diet;
- ze zł these working conditions (too noisy, too quiet, too dark, too bright, too hot, too cold, not enough oxygen);
- from abnormal results indicating impaired metabolism in the body;
- from addiction;
- from illness.
What signals mental fatigue?
Mental fatigue can be a signal that our needs are not being met and, for example:
- I took on too much responsibility;
- I want to excessively control something or someone;
- I am constantly being attacked by someone and have to defend my boundaries;
- I do not appreciate myself or lack appreciation from others;
- the people I work with do not understand my values and beliefs;
- I have an unmet need for positive interactions with others at work;
- I feel that my work is pointless or in vain;
- I work in an environment that tires me out, e.g. I need a lot of people around me and I work remotely, or vice versa I work in an open office and need a quiet separate room;
- I work in a place that is ugly, unsightly;
- maybe my work is not exciting enough for me;
- I work with people who communicate with me differently from my preferences (e.g. I prefer to get clear instructions on what to do rather than debate options for hours, or conversely, I need to be asked what I think about given solutions and no one asks me but gets told by email what to do).
Our needs differ, but among those listed above, 2-3 will be essential for us to truly relax.
Physical fatigue makes mental rest difficult. Mental fatigue often takes away our strength for movement and renewal. Each type of fatigue requires different self-care, but also taking into account our psychological preferences.
You can find out more about how to find the real cause of fatigue, how to limit the influence of thoughts on your acquiescence to rest, and how to rest and organise good rest in the podcast below:
How to rest mentally and physically - why is it so difficult?
There are many reasons influencing the fact that we rest so poorly.
The modern world, which can boldly be described as a "social world", i.e. the world of social media, makes it difficult for us to recognise rest as an essential element for proper physical and mental functioning. Strangely enough, we are full of slogans about how important it is, and at the same time, the world puts pressure on us to process the information it throws at us faster, to respond faster (I'll reply to an email within 24 hours).
The constant rush, the thousands of stimuli reaching our brains every day, the many hours spent at work, a poorly composed diet, stress and forgetting to relax are a simple way to infections, concentration problems and chronic fatigue.
Our bodies become accustomed to constantly working at top speed, so that we often have trouble enjoying relaxation so that we actually rest. For one person, relaxation will be meditation where you can focus on your breathing, for another it will be carefree lounging, for another it will be intensive physical training or simply time spent in the company of a loved one.
Mental rest is not possible without changing beliefs
This issue is not made any easier by our misconceptions, often revealed in spoken sentences:
- "I have no time to rest,
- "Rest is a waste of time",
- "I'll rest when I'm done, at the weekend, on holiday, in retirement ..." ,
- "How can you even rest effectively in such hectic times?"
- "Rest is for the rich".
Already in childhood - from observing our parents. In today's fast-paced world, we combine raising children with developing careers. This often means that, in the eyes of the children, parents are perpetually short of time, are constantly busy and - although they look forward to the weekend - every Friday they already have a mass of plans as to what work and household chores they will catch up on during this time.
We live busy lives and at the same time we crave rest so much that when we do have time for it, we find it difficult to manage it constructively. We don't like to "do nothing", which is why we prefer to do something when we are resting instead of giving up activity.
This is observed by our children, who more than once hear about how much you have to do to 'achieve something in life', 'be somebody', 'no work, no pay', and 'there's a lazy person sitting on the couch...'.
Young children naturally have a developed ability to rest. However, these kinds of messages, the lifestyle of their parents and family and the plethora of extra activities we offer them from a young age disrupt this ability. Children learn the value of a czł person's work and all the activities they undertake. This in turn leads to the perpetuation of a pattern of 'morbid industriousness', which has nothing to do with productivity. Instead, it exacerbates psychomotor hyperactivity and weakens the immune system; moreover, a sense of exhaustion fosters an aversion to all activity.
I can't rest, which means my life has no 'quality'....
Like the overwork that results from putting one's working life above everything else, a lack of rest hinders the development of the c1TP1Person and reduces their quality of life.
This is why it is so important to give children and ourselves permission to relax, to unwind after work, study or activity. In this way, we learn to live in a balance between work and recuperation.
Rest cannot be made up or rested "on the fly". Regularity seems to be the key aspect of rest here, which should also accompany us finding time just for ourselves every day.
The reasons for not resting could therefore be combined into several categories:
- Yielding to environmental and cultural pressures - inadequate attitude and associated false beliefs about resting
- Lack of knowledge about different ways of resting and individual preferences
- Lack of ability to regenerate physically and mentally - this is negligence in education and our upbringing
- Lack of healthy rest habits daily, weekend, holiday
- Lack of awareness of our needs - this is negligence in our personal development
The wisdom of resting, or how to rest properly - first steps
The first step is to become aware of the need that c1TP1People need to be rested. We need rest every day and not by accident, but consciously. Why consciously? Because in order to rest we need to satisfy our needs, and to do this we need to be aware of them.
This point is extremely important as it is very often a barrier to treating rest as a necessary point in the daily schedule.
Secondly, you have to ask yourself which type of fatigue I want to reduce. Is it physical or mental?
I have a friend who is a drummer and as a young 18-year-old he got into a top band and went on a three-month tour. Today he remembers it as a nightmare of muscle pain as he was not prepared for such hard physical work. He has been going to the gym regularly ever since and intensifies his upper body training a month before the tour starts.
Perhaps for both types of fatigue: physical and mental, the key question is what do I need?
Doctor, diet or intensive sport? How about slowing down, even just sitting in silence and fresh air? Or perhaps fewer tasks, a slower pace of work, fewer areas of responsibility?
There is no universal recipe for the perfect rest. The most important thing is to adapt the way we relax to ourselves, what helps us to relax, what we don't like to do in our free time. Thirdly, getting to know oneself and discovering one's resting needs is the next step to implementing one's own way of relaxing consistently.
We learn ourselves slowly, often through reflection, but also through experimentation. If a week with friends in Bulgaria allowed me to completely reset myself, but I came back exhausted, because in fact the parties lasted until dawn every day, it means that in order to have a 'nourishing' holiday I still need something to regenerate my physical strength.
Let's build a balance every day with small steps, and not only after several months of constantly working beyond our capacity.
How to rest mentally - the wisdom of recognising and meeting needs
Constructive rest is one during which we recharge our batteries. It is a rest that moreover:
- Eliminates feelings of exhaustion, overload
- Adds energy
- Improves mood
- Regenerates mental and physical strength
- Builds our commitment and enthusiasm
A recipe for how to relax - step one
1. give yourself new permission, start thinking about rest differently: I have the right to rest every day, every weekend and several times a year.
Changing the mindset as something złhis is a key element in this process. Without this, after various attempts to rest, we will revert to overloading and overworking ourselves. Letting go of limiting beliefs will protect us from the yo-yo effect familiar to those who have tried to slim down without really deciding that they want to eat and live healthy.
2. Recognise your resting needs
But what needs do I have? Tabi Kahler, creator of the concept of driving behaviours - i.e. those behaviours that absolutely prevent us from relaxing - discovered that people have different needs at different intensities. Our needs can change with our passing life.
With whom and how to relax - how do I choose people to help me relax?
Within the number of people we need to interact with, we may have a need:
- Being in solitude, but with the possibility of making contact with others
- Being in contact with one, maximum two people, which is important, is not the same as being alone. Often people who have the need to be in contact with one person during their day off confuse this need with the need to be alone and experience a lot of frustration
- Relaxing in a group I know well
- Relaxing by being a członk in several groups and enjoying them all
Where and how to rest - the proverbial mountains or the seaside?
Within the appearance of the place we will feel comfortable in, our needs also differ:
- Some people need places that are beautiful, pleasing to the senses, with good food and nice people
- Others places where, above all, there is some kind of order, order, because places full of chaos cause them a lot of stress
- Others, on the contrary, like places full of colour, fun, asymmetry, something that is very exciting like amusement parks
- There will be those for whom a place of rest is a place somehow linked to their values, authorities, traditions
- And then there are those for whom it doesn't matter at all, because the most important thing for them anyway is to be able to sink into their own thoughts and plans, which we need to interact with
Within the decision to go on holiday, some of us need to resolve this issue:
- Democratically so that her opinion is considered in decision-making
- To simply get clear instructions on what to do, where to turn up and not have to think much anymore
- Completely independent, liberally taking its decision
- To be treated very personally, taking into account their needs and emotions
Give permission for "I need to rest"
If you are looking for answers to the questions: Am I more tired physically or mentally, what will help me for a particular type of fatigue? Then you will find the answer below.
Start meeting your needs
Joseph Zinker, a Gestalt psychotherapist, used the cycle of experience (the cycle of contact, the cycle of emergence and satisfaction of needs) to describe how we experience our needs.
Stages of the Zinker cycle
- Impression (feeling an emerging need, a sensation - i.e. a figure)
- Awareness (recognition of the figure, realisation of its meaning)
- Mobilisation of energy (decision-making, preparation for action)
- Action (taking action)
- Contact (complete closure of the action)
- Satisfaction (integration, feeling of satisfaction from the satisfaction of a need)
- Withdrawal (Letting go, moving away, time to rest)
Between the withdrawal and the sensation is the so-called 'fertile vacuum', that is, the moment for a new need to emerge, to rest; the fertile vacuum is distinguished from the void, in which we experience terror and meaninglessness.
J. Zinker understood health as the awareness of one's needs and the ability to meet them. If this is done in harmony with the cycle of experience, this closes and there is space for the new to open up.
For example:
- I'm working at my desk and it occurs to me to propose to a colleague at work to go to a concert together (impression).
- I realise I have no desire to spend an evening in crowds of people (awareness).
- He searches for an intimate jazz concert in Kazimierz, I decide to ask a friend if he has the time and inclination (mobilising energy).
- I go there, meet a friend and take part (action),
- During the concert I listen to and enjoy the music, a good beer and a conversation about the performers, and enjoy the presence of the person I invited (contact).
- I feel relaxed and satisfied (satiated).
- I will hunker down and go home (withdrawal).
- On the way I feel the urge, to tell someone else about my impressions of the concert (impression). I come up with the idea that I would love to call my sister and talk to her about the concert. Thus begins a new cycle.
After such an intense month, it is time to withdraw. It's very important to rest and recuperate and withdraw into the creative vacuum to gather energy to satiate my need for excitement again. Otherwise I won't experience the full saturation of my need, so I won't fully rest.
It is for this reason, among others, that it is not advisable to return home on Sunday evening to turn up at work on Monday. What is needed is time to stoke up what we have experienced and prepare for a new activity.
Organisational transactional analysis: managing rest in the work environment
Organisational transactional analysis offers tools for understanding how structures and processes in organisations affect employees' ability to regenerate. Many companies have an unwritten contract that promotes constant activity at the expense of rest, fuelling the sense that a break from work is a sign of weakness.
Transactional analysis identifies those unconscious scripts that drive such beliefs and supports the building of a conscious organisational culture in which rest is seen as an integral part of performance. Through the use of transactional analysis tools, organisations can identify and eliminate unhealthy patterns of behaviour, such as ignoring fatigue or relentless pressure to perform, while promoting practices that support a healthy balance between work and recovery.
Such a culture not only supports better employee wellbeing, but also leads to more sustainable productivity and long-term success for the company.
Start planning your rest
Resting should become a habit, if you don't do it regularly you won't recover. Just as you can't get enough sleep, you can't rest for months ahead.
Your plan should include acting on both physical and mental fatigue. You need to gain knowledge about yourself, what kind of rest serves you and practice that way. Other things will be possible on a daily basis to give yourself a break, others at the weekend and others during a holiday.
You need to gather all these acquiescences, skills and information about yourself to create your resting habit. In this article I have written many hints of what you can do.
How to relax - summary
The basic tool needed to start working on resting skills is self-awareness. For it is not enough to throw yourself on the sofa in front of the TV and think that your body and mind will recover.
You need to gather a lot of information about yourself in the area of resting. Then give yourself permission so that you have an open way to learn new skills and make a habit of resting. In this article I have written many hints about what you can do. And if you are interested in the topic of emotions, I invite you to download the free e-book: With eMOTIONS to the people. You already have, it might be a good time to reach for the e-book with 50 exercises: How to have a better life and relationships"with which you will independently deepen your knowledge of: states of the self, needs, psychological games, the script cycle or autonomy.
