Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again? Why do some situations in our professional and private lives seem to be 'the same again and again', even though the people and circumstances change? The answer to this question may lie in the concept of the life script - a central concept of Transactional Analysis (AT), used successfully in both psychotherapy and professional coaching.
In this article we will look at:
- What a life script is from a transactional analysis perspective,
- How it is created and how it affects our lives,
- How the script can be worked into the coaching process,
- what tools and approaches help to explore and modify it,
- and what this looks like in practice - in the coach's work with the client.
What is a life script?
Within the meaning of transactional analysis, life script it's unconscious life plan, which we create in childhood, influenced by our experiences, observations, relationships with caregivers and the culture in which we grow up.
It's psychological pattern that influences ours:
- life decisions,
- how to respond in relationships,
- approaches to success, failure, proximity, work, money, etc.
According to the creator of AT, Eric Berne, the script is the sequence of decisions taken during childhoodwhich determines our adult life, often unconsciously. It acts like an internal script - once written down, it is played out again and again, whether it serves us or not.
Remember that in the Meeting Group you can benefit from programmes and Trainingwhich offer the required number of hours of personal development in line with the EMCC certification pathway
How is the script produced?
The script is shaped by the interaction between the child and the environment - mainly parents and immediate adults. A key role is played by the so-called 'script'. prohibitions and consents, i.e. the messages the child receives (or the lack of which is also information). Examples of prohibitions:
- "Don't be yourself"
- "Don't grow up."
- "Don't feel"
- "You will not be successful".
- "Don't be close."
From these messages are formed internal beliefs and assumptionswhich become part of the script. Importantly, the script is not necessarily logically consistent. It often contains contradictory messages and unconscious 'moral imperatives' of a kind:
"I have to do everything perfectly, otherwise I will let everyone down."
Table: Elements of the life script in the AT model
| Element | Description |
| Bans | Restrictive messages (e.g. "Don't think", "Don't be important") |
| Consents | Supportive messages (e.g. "You have the right to feel", "You can be yourself") |
| Scriptural decisions | Early, unconscious choices of the child resulting from interpretations of the environment |
| Dominant script | The main narrative axis of life (e.g. 'I always lose', 'I have to be a hero') |
| Antiscrypt | Rebellion against a script that... is still part of it |
Life script in coaching
Although script work is classically the domain of the therapies, it is also increasingly being incorporated into the coaching process, especially when:
- customer repeats destructive patterns in your professional or private life,
- unable to cross a certain developmental threshold,
- sabotages his/her own successes (e.g. through perfectionism, procrastination, excessive control),
- operates according to inadequate type beliefs: "I don't deserve success"..
A coach does not diagnose or treat - it is not a therapy. But it can help the customer recognise scripting mechanisms and invite their exploration in a safe, reflective space. Central to this is awareness - noticing a pattern is the first step to changing it.
Scripting tools in coaching
In supporting the client in discovering their life script, the coach can use a variety of tools from transactional analysis, among others:
- State of the Self model (Parent - Adult - Child) - allows us to understand what part of the personality we are operating from.
- Prohibitions and consents - identifying childhood messages that shape our behaviour.
- Labyrinth of a script - a graphic tool by James Buryski to reflect on levels of consent in six core areas (e.g. right to play, success, closeness).
- Narrative exercises - working with the metaphor of the 'life script': who writes the script, how it ends, who has control over it.
How does the script affect working life?
The life script does not end "at home". - it is also present in the world of work. Examples:
- A leader who cannot delegate - may have the script "I have to do everything myself, otherwise I will fail".
- The all-round specialist who can't say no - a possible script of 'I have to earn recognition or they will reject me'.
- Manager sabotaging promotions - may unconsciously follow the script 'Don't be better than your father'.
Advice from a Group specialist Meeting
"A life script is not a sentence. In coaching work, the most important thing is to notice the pattern - this is the starting point for change. The coach does not 'fix' the client, but accompanies them in the process of discovering what is theirs and what has been imposed. Once the client sees that they can write a new script, the power of transformation is activated."
Can the script be changed?
Yes - but it process, not event. Requires:
- attentiveness,
- working on schemes,
- readiness for discomfort,
- contact with childhood emotions,
- often the support of a specialist (therapist, coach, group).
The script cannot be 'removed', but it can:
- update it,
- build new operating strategies,
- regain freedom of choice.
Script in a transactional context
W transactional analysis, concept transactions means any exchange of messages between people. Our script influences how we conduct these transactions - whether we operate from a position of Adultor perhaps from a role The Submissive Child or Critical Parent.
By working on the script it is possible to:
- strengthening the function Adult (i.e. the state of the Self capable of rational, conscious action),
- interruption of harmful psychological games,
- construction of new interpersonal relationships based on equality, respect and empathy.
Do you want to work professionally with clients on their life scripts and inner limitations?
Become a certified coach with the Meeting Group and learn how to conduct in-depth development processes based on transactional analysis and working with life scripts. Our training courses combine knowledge in the areas of psychology, communication and relationships, enabling you to effectively support clients in discovering, understanding and transforming their inner scenarios. This is not only professional development, but also personal transformation.
During the certified coaching training such as 5-day accredited Executive Coaching workshop Among other things, you will learn how to use specific transactional analysis tools.
Select training offer Groups Meet and develop your career in the coaching world!
Summary
Life script it's psychological scenario, which - although shaped in childhood - often imperceptibly steers our adult lives. Transactional analysis allows it to be understood, named and, most importantly, changed.
W coaching we do not disarm the script as in therapy, but we can explore, identify and challenge. This is enough to bring about significant changes in thinking, action and decisions.
It is worth asking ourselves questions:
- Am I writing my own script?
- Am I living up to someone else's assumptions?
- What do I want to change in my script?
A coach can accompany you in this - not as an author, but as a witness to your change.
Wondering if transactional analysis is for you? You will find the answer to this question in one of our training courses "Certified online training 101 - Is Transactional Analysis for you?"
FAQ - Frequently asked questions
What are life scripts from a psychological perspective?
Life scripts is a concept derived from psychology and concepts transactional analysiswhose creator was Eric Berne. This unconscious behaviour programmes formed in early childhoodwhich guide our perception of the world, the relationships and the decisions we make. It could be said that many people lead living according to a pre-programmed scenariowithout realising it.
How do scripts work in everyday life?
Scripts have an impact, what we think is possible, how we read the intentions of othersor even how we react in conflict situations. They determine whether, in a difficult situation, we start to fight, withdraw or feel guilty. The script can also determine whether we even see certain possibilities or our cognitive filter rejects them as not fitting into 'our scenario'.
Are scripts always negative?
No. Scripts can contain both supportive and restrictive elements. The problem arises when:
- operate automatically,
- are non-adaptive,
- sustain patterns that no longer serve us (e.g. violence, dependence, withdrawal).
Can coaching help you analyse your script?
Yes, although coaching does not replace therapy, it can help the client examine its operating patterns, identify hidden convictions and start the process of change. Working with a coach helps you to 'stop' and take a look, whether I am operating from a selection or a script.
What is the significance of family scripts?
Family scripts are patterns passed on between generations - not only verbally, but also through behaviour, emotions and relationships. It is from them that we derive 'recipes for life': how to love, how to work, how to resolve conflicts. They are often unconsciousand their integration and reflecting on them can be a key part of development work - both in therapy and coaching.
Is it possible to change the script and live differently?
Yes, the script is not a sentence. Although it may determine our actions for years to come, it is possible for its reformulation. Self-awareness, readiness to change and support - from the therapist - are key, coach, group or community. Passion, creativity and relationships with others can play an important role in building a new, more authentic life scenario.
